I am tired of it.
This post won't be so much of a rant but more like a journaled, self-realization.
Recently I have come to grips with the fact that I have a major problem of trying to make everyone around me happy. Happy to a the point of crazy. Not just happy with life, happy with the decisions I make for my own life. How have I let it get to this. This mentality is in direct contrast to my own little mantra that "I have an audience of One." And you know who that One is... God.
Ingrained in me is the knowledge that truly, I only seek the approval of my heavenly father. But sometimes I cave to the pressure of people who really do truly love me and fall into the trap of trying to make them happy. This though, is practically impossible. Because if one person is connected to say 100 or even 50 that truly care about them, there will be no way to make that many people happy with every decision made.
The pressure just feels. so. heavy. And so real.
But really, I am self-inflicting it. The only person who gives others the right to have a say in my life is myself. That's the reality of it. I am the one who chooses to let so many people "in." Nobody has control over me unless I let them.
My solution here is to not shut people out. Don't hear me say that. But it is to assert healthy boundaries. Boundaries that are respectful but allow me to not feel controlled or manipulated by the whims of others. Even those with the best of intentions.
If anything this has taught me to think twice before I give input on someone else's life. A valuable lesson learned, because sometimes people just want to be heard...not told what to do. So, here today is my pledge to shake off the cares of this world and trust that I will make my own decisions wisely. I trust that I hear the voice of God and that I walk hand in hand with Him. He promises that He will be a "lamp to my feet and a light to my path." [Psalm 119:105] So how can I go wrong there?! If I walk with him, He will lead me where I need to be!
Aha! This is my aha moment.
xo, Kelsey Belle