Finding myself thinking about God's will verses my own will lately. I worry that because I have so much freedom of choice that I will make the wrong choice. I think it is indeed very possible to make the wrong choice. We hear time and time again, "Well I guess it's just God's will" but no, not quite the case. We have complete freedom to act outside of God's will and choose something otherwise. I think it is the case of willingness though. Does that make sense? I believe it is in fact possible to make the wrong choice when, like a child we demand our own way. In that case, because God is gracious, kind, and gives us freedom to do our own thing, he surely will allow us to choose.
One thing I do know though: If we examine our heart and continually act in faith, always willing to put HIS will above our own, now THAT is a fail proof plan. If the genuine desire of your heart is God’s will above your own then again, I repeat it is fail proof. There has been time and time again where I am worried that I will make a life altering decision, forfeiting my destiny. Actually I once thought I did forfeit a huge dream but then God reminded me that He so kindly restores.
One story I stumbled upon recently reminded me of this. David was anointed to be king, and it was knowing this, he offered to be Achish’s bodyguard for life. (1 Samuel 28: 2,)Now how is this possible when he will one day be king? Was he taking that on as a side job. Doubtfully. I suppose he forgot his destiny for a minute. Maybe it didn’t feel real to him. Maybe it was taking longer than expected.
You would read that and think.. Well is being king just not that important to you? No he forgot his destiny! He was essentially choosing the wrong choice, his OWN choice, not God’s amazing, wonderful plan for him to be king. But remember elsewhere where God had said, “David is a man after my own heart” Oh yes, THAT. Now David must have eagerly desired God’s will above his own to be called a man after God’s own heart! Did David mess up in making that offer? Yes. Did David seemingly forfeit God’s plan for his own? Well it sure appears so. But NO! God is so kind! Knowing that David desires God’s plan above his own, God just REDIRECTED him right back into his own will.
God will never ever force your hand. He is kind and a gentleman and lets us choose. But at the same time, if we are forever and always saying, God your will not my own. Then we are giving him permission to redirect us when we choose our own way. Sometimes our own way is totally in line with God's heart, and sometimes like David we get a bit confused. But again, God works with willingness and I can personally attest to that! Now isn’t this FREEING?! Not only do we have freedom to make choices without anxiety (easier said than done)....we can make choices knowing and telling God, “hey if this isn’t right, you have every bit of my consent to set my feet upon a solid rock, to redirect me.”
Gosh we all do this don’t we? I get so excited, so impatient. I like to have a plan, always. The next plan for adventure. David got anointed to be king 14 years before he actually took the throne. If he was human in any way, I’m sure there were days that it just felt like it wasn’t going to happen. I can see where he got a little sidetracked, started moving up in Achish's ranks and felt compelled to take such a position. Now if you zoom out and gain a little perspective of course one would think he is crazy for making such an offer when he would one day be king but David wasn’t zoomed out, he was zoomed in. He was focused on the right now.
Oh boy, if there ever was a girl who lives in the moment it’s this one. I empathize with David here because I too have foregone God’s promises and settled for what seemed good in the moment. There is a pang of regret as I think about it, knowing that I chose something other than God's best for me. But you see God is so faithful. Here I am about to head to Australia in 5 months to step right into a dream I have had for 5 years now. I thought i forfeited it, that I laid it down out of stupidity and my chance had come and gone. But oh how kind God is to restore dreams, to redirect our steps to walk hand in hand with Him... that is if we are willing. We have a choice.